


We Both Have Our Hands Full

by Giant_Woman



Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Blood, Crack Crossover, Death, F/M, Misgendering, Multi, Murder, Nonsense, Silly, it's just for fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-14 11:36:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16039691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Giant_Woman/pseuds/Giant_Woman
Summary: Grell takes her readers on a special, work-related trip to the Danganronpa universe. The first soul on her list was murdered by Genocider Sho and Grell is absolutely shocked by the details of this universe. Her trip gets completely ruined and she ends up having a terrible day.This is a nonsense crossover fic that's supposed to be funny, don't take it seriously. Also, yes, I know the blood is red in-universe, but I thought it would be funny if it wasn't, so in this fic, it's played straight as if the blood is the color it is when we see it.*Spoilers for Danganronpa 1*******This spoils the whole "The Biggest, Most Awful, Most Tragic Event in Human History" thing having happened, and that Genocider Sho is Toko. Takes place after the events of the first game, so also spoils 2 of the survivors. No spoilers for who kills who or anything like that, though.





	We Both Have Our Hands Full

Hello there, dear readers! I’m Grell Sutcliffe. You may have heard of me as the most gloriously perfect Shinigami in my world, and oh my, will we be having fun today! Today is the day I’m going on a special adventure to another world! The Shinigami of this world are overworked and understaffed. They miscalculated, ending up unprepared for their apocalypse, it would seem, and so they applied to our universe for some extra Shinigami assistance! When The assignment came to me, I was excited! A whole new universe, and one with their Shinigami stretched so thin that they can’t possibly assign teams? No oversight? Sign me up!

I practically leap through the portal. Standard apocalypse fare greets me from the other side. Drab grey skies, filled with barely breathable air, rubble everywhere, you all know how that scene is set. I check the list and skip to the destination for my first soul collection. I hope it’s exciting. Around the corner, I find him. I gasp audibly, unprepared.

He is in one hell of a position. My list gave the cause of death as “Stabbed to death” but that doesn’t even begin to cover the way the props are laid out. His wrists are pinned to the wall, two pairs of intricately designed scissors stabbed all the way through each one and into the wall. Copies of the same scissors are stabbed deep into his sides, and yet another pair is embedded in the back of his head.

It’s a dramatic scene for a human to have the curtains fall on, to say the least, but that’s not what makes me gasp. What makes me gasp is much, much more disturbing. I rub my eyes. I shake my head. I even try turning away and turning back again to see if it will change, but it doesn’t. It’s baffling, it’s bewildering, it’s horrifying, it’s life re-defining, it’s…. It’s… well, I fear I may alarm you, my dear readers, but, brace yourselves… It’s pink!

Pink! It’s running down his arms, along the wall, falling from the wounds on his sides. It’s splattered on the floor and, on the wall behind him, in hot, bright, pink,  it's written, “BLOOD BATH FEVER”. It’s his blood. His blood is pink. It’s…. It’s pink! What kind of person is this?! I look desperately around, and that’s when I notice her.

Her tongue, much too long for her mouth, trails off to the side, curling into a near complete loop. She’s kneeling, dark burgundy braids brushing the ground, with her skirt pulled back to reveal tally marks. With her scissors, she’s adding a line and I gasp as soon as she does. The blood that seeps from this wound too, it’s pink.

“What is the meaning of this?!” I yell. She looks up.

“Who are you?” She says with a crazy looking smile, tongue still lolling out of her mouth somehow.

“That’s not important. What’s important right now is your blood!” I gesture at her leg “And his blood! All the blood in this world maybe?! Oh god! It’s pink!! How can it be pink? What in the world am I supposed to do if the blood is pink? Red is blood. And red is the color of ultimate beauty! The most beautiful, exciting color! It’s why blood is so good. Or perhaps blood is why red is so good. But what to do, what to do now? How can it be pink?”

She blinks at me. “Uhmmm. Okay. That’s the only color I know it to be. I’m Sho, by the way, Genocider Sho, to be exact. So, who are you?”

“I…..” I throw my head to the side, placing my hand over my forehead “I just don’t know anymore.”

“I kinda meant like your name, but whatever” Sho giggles. “I’ll get to the point. You look like a pretty little man to me! I wasn’t planning on a second kill so soon, but look at you. Look at how you’re dressed!! It’s driving me wild in my southern hemisphere!!” She’s screaming quite dramatically now, shaking with excitement.

“Hey, I’m not a man!” I object, loudly. How very rude of her to suggest, wouldn’t you agree? “And I’m a Shinigami! You can’t kill me And that’s not the point right now! The point is that the blood, all of it here, it’s pink! Who am I supposed to be if blood is pink?!”

“You’re crazier than I am!” Sho laughs like a complete and utter lunatic, tears pouring from her eyes, and then she lunges at me. I leap, instinctively, to the top of what remains of the nearest building.

“Hey, I’m working on minimal supervision here. I wouldn’t make me mad if I were you! Especially when I’m in such a state.”

Her eyes are wide now. “How did you do that?! Are you really a Shinigami?! I think maybe I wanna kill you even more now. Can you even kill a shinigami?!” Sho throws her head back to laugh again.

“Sho,” the commanding voice comes, muffled and obscured from my vision until he rounds the corner to become clearer, “what in the world have you done?” A blonde boy, and a beautiful one at that rounds the corner. This character, I can’t believe him. He carries himself like royalty, he’s dressed in a suit, adjusting a pair of glasses on his young face and sighing deeply before continuing “Can I not leave you alone for five seconds without you killing someone?”

“But master!” Sho objects “It was a lot longer than five seconds! And besides, look!” She points at me with another pair of those scissors. “This pretty boy says he’s a Shinigami! And I think he might be right! He just leapt to the roof in a single bound!!”

“You call me a boy one more time!” I yell, leaping down from the roof to stand threateningly in front of her. “And you will have an unfortunate meeting with my chainsaw! I am stressed out! Your Shinigami are worked too hard to even notice one extra human missing! The paperwork probably won’t even be looked at!”

  
The boy blinks at me, a confusion playing so briefly on his face that it may have been an illusion. “Sho, I’m sure there’s a more logical explanation for this than Shinigami. That being said, I will not have you fighting with this person. They have physical skills that you do not need to be engaging with, regardless.”

He’s so beautiful. Look at that face, that hair, the entire way he’s holding himself. Head to toe, I almost can’t believe how much I want him for my own! I believe any words I could use would be woefully inadequate to describe him. It’s truly a travesty.

“And who is this pretty, pretty boy?” I ask, licking my lips inadvertently. “I’d like to see him in a compromising position!”

“Hey!” Sho yells “That’s my master! Hands off him, or I’ll cut them off!”

“Sho!” He says sharply, effectively silencing her. “I’m Byakuya Togami. My serial killer there will not be causing you any further problems, and we can part ways now.”

“But you, my darling are just tooooo cute to leave alone.” Sho glares, pulling her arm back, scissors in hand, and makes a quick attempt to jab them into my arm. This is beyond irritating, I’m sure you’ll understand, so I pull my arm out of the way and then immediately produce my chainsaw from beneath my cloak, pulling the cord quickly.

“Now, what did I just say?! You are getting on my nerves, young lady, and there is absolutely no one here to stop me!”

“Oh isn’t there?” I freeze on the spot, closing my eyes. I did not just hear his voice coming from behind me, did I? I hope that if I close my eyes, he will disappear, but instead, the hands of William T. Spears grab me by my shirt collar and pull me away from the couple.

“What in the world are you doing?” He asks, tone dripping with exhaustion.

“Reaping this soul.” I refuse to meet William’s eyes, opting instead to direct my attention upward toward the grey sky.

“It doesn’t look much like you’re reaping the soul to me. And you’ve been over 20 minutes on the same case. Did you not read the instructions provided for this job?” He asks in the same flat, killjoy tone, sighing. Without waiting for an answer, he infuriatingly continues. “I’ll handle this from here. You’re going back home where you can be supervised. I knew I was right to check on you.”

He reviews the record quickly, collecting the soul in that annoyingly boring, by-the-book way he always does. I’ve half a mind to slice Sho to pieces as quickly as possible despite his appearance, but William’s overly controlling tone makes it clear that I’ll risk suspension for even my regular duties if I disobey. I’d like to keep my scythe.

  
What a terrible day we’ve had! Our exciting new world adventure has turned instead to a tragedy. First, I come to this abomination of a universe where the blood is pink! And now I have to go back home under extra supervision. So much for an exciting, supervision free adventure. I suppose it’s not so bad that we’re going home, though. I don’t wanna reap souls in a world where all the blood is pink anyway. If they’d told me that, I never would’ve come in the first place.

When William is done, he turns to Byakuya and nods “I apologize for the unprofessional behavior my subordinate displayed toward the two of you. Grell here will be returned to reaping souls in our universe only, with supervision.”

Then, with a snap of his fingers, he opens the portal and drags me through just as Byakuya nods back, adjusting his glasses “Not a problem. It seems to me like we both have our hands full.”


End file.
